...let me just say that whenever I hear something along the lines of "organized religion is the cause of all the world's problems" I'd like to punch something in the face. Last time I checked it was closed-minded bigoted violent thoughtless assholes that cause all the world's problems, not ideas on how to talk to God. Organized religion is just a vehicle through which fuckers do what they do best. Don't blame ideas for the people who claim to follow them.

This is just something I thought about earlier today but perpetuated by Fandom_Secrets. U2 secret (yay!) stating that as a religion-hater, the OP was "ashamed" to tell anyone that they made him/her want to find their faith again. Dude, why the fuck should you be "ashamed"? Unless they encourage you to act like a complete asshole, your religious beliefs are nothing to be embarrassed about. Speaking from personal experience, in many ways they can make you a better person. For instance, contemplating God's love has made me more forgiving, understanding, and respectful of people. (Also, religion =/= faith. I remember in The Faith Club, they wrote that Ranya had faith but no religion, Priscilla had religion but no faith, and Suzanne had both. I always kinda wished there was a fourth author who had neither, just to make it even.)

May I go off into fangirly squee for a moment and just point out how frakking awesome U2 is for being that influential on someone. I drove for about two hours today and listened to them the entire time. Haters gonna hate but a U2 concert is a spiritual experience and Bono is a better humanitarian than most people are neighbors. So there. XP~

Moving on...Forgotten Broadway: A Cabaret is officially over. It finally ended up with us having ~16 people in the cast. Our first show on the 11th did not start out very well because most of the people in the audience were either deaf, blind, or affected with some form of dementia. About 2/3 into the first act things picked up, though, because we played everything louder, and things got more interesting. Our second show on the 13th was a nightmare to coordinate because we were missing a handful of people, so I wound up putting myself in four songs and cutting two of them. The audience, because it was at an adult community instead of a nursing home, was way more responsive. We got craploads of compliments at both venues, and sixty bucks to donate to the ONE Campaign, so overall I feel like we were a success. Someone's parents filmed it, so if I get my hands on the video I will post it.

Here is a picture of most of the cast and crew:



Nick (crew), Dad (crew), Deshaun, Dave, Mom (crew), Billy, Lisa, me, Twitchy, Maggie, Jenny (hostess), Dani, Rikki, Laura, Ayjay, Kevin, Kieran (crew), and Joey. Missing from the shot are SJ, Nicole, George (crew), and Cheyanne; the girls were either sick or grounded, and George was I think taking photos.

Cast parteh on Saturday ^_^ I can't believe how close we grew. I've never had so many friends doing a show with me. So even though the show was a nightmare to produce, forming so many tight bonds made the whole experience worth it. Every practice was almost like a party; I don't think I've ever had such a good time and been with so many people who I really care about, and who really care about me. And I thank God for this experience, truly. Even though I lost a few friends along the way, I think doing this show has really showed me who I can count on. Not to mention what I am capable of doing if I refuse to give up. I really look forward to whatever we do in the summer ^_^ We want to do a Disney-themed show next.

Speaking of forming tight bonds, Joey (the guy in the bright orange shirt at the end) asked me out after the show on the 11th. I said that we'd give it a shot. I like him a lot and I've felt attracted to him before, but I've got some trepidations because he seems to VERY into me already, while I take relationships slowly. And there is also the fact that well right now I am more easily attracted to girls, so I'm worried about what this means for us. I e-mailed him about this earlier; he hasn't responded yet. I really don't want to chase him off because I'd hate to lose him from my life; I'm just not sure if the little switch in my head that controls my attractions will let me like him as a boyfriend, and I want to date a little before deciding that I can commit to him. And I think it's important to fill him in on this, because otherwise it wouldn't be fair. Deshaun and SJ used to date and he (also bi) had to tell her about this; though they broke up they are still good friends and Deshaun cites the honesty as a factor in that.

It's 2 in the morning right now and I'm starting to get a headache, so I'll chat more when y'all comment, mmkay?

I think I sorta understand the concept of people calling their sexuality "fluid" now. When I first encountered it, I was like, "Huh? Just call yourself bi" but let's look this over.

Luna's Sexuality: 19 and 1/2 Years In Review

Ages 0-12: Asexual. Little to no interest in guys or girls.
Ages 13-14: Heterosexual. Interest in guys, no interest in girls. (Count: Two boyfriends)
Ages 15-18: Bisexual. Interest in guys and girls. (Count: One girlfriend)
Ages 18-19: Homosexual. Interest in girls.
Current: Bisexual. Interest in girls more than in boys.

The thing with girls is that they are so much easier to be attracted to. Something about femininity just does it for me, and I am less picky about what constitutes attractive when it comes to girls than when it comes to boys. And girls shave. Anyone who knows me knows my hatred of body hair. Gyuh. *Gags* On that note, I am not attracted to butches. Not to say that they are bad or ugly or not "real women", but the looks/behavior of butches are just not something I'm attracted to. I like femmey girls. And femmey guys, come to think of it. Bring on the skinny clean-shaven nice-smelling book-reading football-eschewing metrosexuals. Burly and/or hairy men need not apply. It's odd that I like tiny men but tend to go for larger girls. (Liz was not what you can call feminine but she wasn't really butch either...she just didn't really take care of herself, physically. Or emotionally. She had this gorgeous red hair, though...)

This little Timeline of Sexuality troubled me at first, but not so much anymore. I am very determined to be at peace with my sexuality, and for me that requires accepting the fact that while at the moment, I'm more attracted to girls, this trend could be reversed at some point in the future. And I've come to the conclusion that it's not really a big deal (well, in a personal sense. In a legal and socoiological sense, I got some issues to work out). It helps that I actually have a very low sex drive, and pretty much all the energy other people my age put into dating, I put into mothering, so I don't have to deal with rampant attractions left and right.

So I have accepted the label of "fluid" with squashed trepidation. I just hope my affiliation with BiNet USA isn't invalid now ^_~

It's once again been brought to my attention that certain pockets of the population have some serious misconceptions about bisexual people. As a bisexual myself, I want to take a moment to clarify the issue.

1. BISEXUALS ARE NOT "CONFUSED". Yes, there are bisexuals just coming into their sexuality and don't realize what their attraction to both sexes means, but a bisexual who has had time to fully grasp his or her orientation is well aware of the fact that they play for both teams.

2. BISEXUALS ARE NOT REALLY NYMPHOMANIACS. Nymphomania is a disorder where the sufferer finds themselves always, or more often than considered normal, sexually aroused. A bisexual's sexual activity is, on average, the same as a heterosexual's or a homosexual's, for the same reasons (attraction, romance, drunkenness, etc). The only difference is that a bisexual can feel attraction for both sexes. This does not mean that a bisexual, necessarily, has more sex.

3. BISEXUALS ARE NOT MERELY "DESPERATE FOR AFFECTION" AND THUS WILL DO ANYONE JUST TO GET LOVE. There is a plethora of men and women out there for a person to have sex with. You don't need to sleep with both genders just to get a wide range of relationships and therefore love.

4. BISEXUALITY IS NOT THE SAME AS PANSEXUALITY. Pansexuality is a sexual orientation where the pansexual individual is able to feel attraction to other people regardless both of biological sex and gender identity. As I understand it, it's a sort of "all pansexuals are bisexual, but not all bisexuals are pansexuals".

5. BISEXUALITY IS NOT A STEPPING-STONE TO HOMOSEXUALITY. Some homosexuals may wish, due to cultural reasons or fear, to say that while they are attracted to the same sex, they are also attracted to the opposite sex. Claimed bisexuality in the face of discrimination is NOT bisexuality. It is denial of one's homosexuality. TRUE bisexuality is genuine attraction to both sexes.

6. BISEXUALITY IS NOT GENDER NONCOMFORMITY. Gender is social construct. Gender is "man" and "woman" as opposed to "male" and "female". A bisexual female may display traditionally feminine characteristics, while a bisexual male may display traditionally masculine characteristics. Or they might not. Gender is not a factor in bisexuality; biological sex is.

7. BISEXUAL FEMALES ARE NOT CAPITULATING TO THE PATRIARCHY. We don't shag females and males just to make men horny.

8. BISEXUALITY IS NOT A FAD. We exist. We always will exist. And we are annoyed at you teeny-boppers who pretend to be bisexual to be "trendy".

Bisexuality is Real.